Looking through

SOC Writing _ 22.9.21

Looking through

I see you, you see me through. All this time is a joy – to feel bereft of you is a feeling I will cherish, relish as it has never been before – the love of longing - the staying with the heart in all its measures – grief, sorrow, pain, loss, sadness - there as well as the ecstasy, the bliss, the fury as he told me – I’ve lived a life out there full of noise and busyness – but what is going on in here – he touches his chest – is far more colourful. And so we experiment with the heart – mine it’s treasure by testing its limits – its temperamental ways and its deep, rocky chasm of truth – that the heart is a world unto itself and needs no one to tell it what it knows - I know I love you – through and through – you have come to me as in a dream – now I wake and am still in the dream – the luscious face – the eyes of Cleopatra and milk for skin – I love you - and I love me – this – enough ness is why I am not destroyed right now – this becoming me has really come to pass - for I feel a temperance to my loss unlike the past where I have clung to and moped and felt entirely destroyed. You destroy me in particular way making space for the new – not a wanton destruction in the name of love for some sport. No, your love has me changing for the better - more able to pause and stay in my body for a second longer – able to move towards our connection before shutting down. This love is a force of fire – the dross is rising and underneath is pure gold. Refiners fire, my heart’s one desire is to be holy, set apart for you. I choose this life with you as far as it goes – hand in hand, holding the tether between us as we venture further into the unknown – you initiating yourself like the Sharman you are – I, on the precipice of my heart – holding for you – longing for you – able to stay my course and love everything that is arising between us - my one, my love.