When the rain falls
SOC Writing _ 21.5.21
When the rain falls
All of me, falling to pieces – bits of stuff falling off – like the rocket discarding fuselage as it enters the depths of space – the momentum no longer needed to leave the heavy confines of earth – the gravity now released I float. She told me about my projections – she let me know how much fury is inside – how I could only shudder – and I do. Everything is becoming – me – and the dust is being ground – I am finding new ground – letting go the old perfection – seeing that it all – it all is already perfect. Exactly the way it is – the beauty in plain sight – no need to augment anything – in the auger grip my brother rotates the brass rod – making something extraordinary out of something simple – the dull burnishing to bright light as he loves and loves upon the physical world – as his hammer hits the nail in exactly the right manner. Fuck manners – we are all animals - feel, hurt, bleed, shit, fuck, sleep and then – we are all more that – I am more than my history - there is something transcendent happening – the cold water of Wakatipu is a sacred place – the depths no longer a panic – the fear felt – lent into – explored honestly as I can – the feeling that I am coming home to everything that loves me – everything belongs - it’s beautiful how she arrives – a complete surprise as I marvel once again at her face – her embrace – the size of the joy and gripping of my legs, my heart, my eyes, my mind – I never wanted to go here again but here you are – the water – tree - conversations about how to bleed a whole year of seasons in a month – gifts for my pending young woman of a daughter – this is a precious gift. This. is. incredible – this world all the letting go and just going – to arouse the heart to its fullest degree but not want to control the destiny – the future is written in sand and like a Buddhist mandala – the wind blows it away after all the refinements, after all the hard work to make it bloody perfect – all gone – gone like the years – the ages before me – the dust bin of history is an avid collector – and I also shall be in it – so here I am now life. I be here.