SOC Writing _ 28th October 2020

 Electric Steel

Gaze and graze the arm of my pain – this sore spot, not the place you last hurt me – but a new arising – from another source – Vegas nerve – hit and now travail into the cup overflowing with substance, nothing, everything, everything belongs – but does it? Sometimes I want to tip everything out like my 3 year old does – make a fucking mess – start gain – choose something else because I damn well can. Its not an easy choice to keep remaking ones life – the clay – start again – pound your piece upon the table of life and form and forge – it remembers everything – the cut, the break, the hole - it will tell you its tenderness in time – what you thought was strong has now broken in precisely the place of your wound - the bit you papered over and did not fix with a whump and thump – a thorough re-making - and so now it gives way – you give way – it can still be beautiful – in fact you really want to go with that backward energy – make a dance of it – the broken, backwards, free wheeling dance of letting the cord loose – give yourself some slack so you can, again, play with yourself. Before you play with others – know what it is to be playfully alive in your one, broken, beautiful body – blood gushing – tendons twitching – it is your twirk dance – your frolic – the don’t give fucks movement that will propel you into new people and places – go down to the dairy to buy the one envelope and stamp – say hi to everyone you see and look them in the eye – these connections are your bread and butter. Do not. Do not sit at home alone on your phone or computer – these things are not made for you – are not committed to you. It is the people, he tangata that really have your back even if you feel ever so estranged – go out – find a stride in your step – leave your phone at home – and reach out with your fingers and hands – use these highly attuned pieces to bring into your life what is needed – here and now.