Christian School

SOC Writing _ 21.7.21

Christian School

In the gates we went – throttled from the long bus ride – wondering what carnage awaited us – the teachers from weird backgrounds set within an even weirder Christian society. We are unsafe. We the un – beings – not seen as children – but beasts to be tamed – to bring up the child in the way she should go – to press toward the mark – for God knows what. I know what – what about leave us as sovereign beings – what about starting with respect of the small child’s will before you bend yourself over backwards and destroy your own nervous system in front of a gasping class - the glass shattered yet again as Tony goes head long into a window gutting a hole in his head – I see the hair – the blood – was that scalp? – poor boy man – stupid boys focusing all their non - Christian energy on what looked like a bull eye– why didn’t they have meetings about school culture – I can see now even as I sit on the school board – the blindness - the echo chamber we all call across each other in – we are all blind, all compromised in some way, shape or form – I do not sit richly and dole out judgements from my past. I do so with a sense of my own part and parcel of this journey and a real desire to plumb my own depths – know my own anger, trauma and the reward that comes from a life examined - constantly looked at the way scientists do and move our civilization forward – we are beholden to none – no one can make you look at your own life – no one can raise a fist at you and say – look! We are each our own soothsayer, arbitrators of our own stories and lives – and in the midst of the grey mist cloud hanging over the distant hills something is coming to rest in me – a new stirring beginning to reside in me as I think of a new creation - as I beckon the quiet, still creature of my inner forest to come out to the place where shadows still and there is a clearing where we can meet and begin again.