The whole kitchen

My daughter said as I walked outside: “so, clean the whole kitchen?” - music to my ears - and still a part of me winces - it is ok for others to do what I normally would, without question? My ex-partner taught me a great deal about letting my children be more helpful, or being able to walk away and not always be around them - solo parting can be so confusing - you still have the old memory of the two of you - always present but now theres only the one - you.

And, you can’t do everything - can you?

Ah and oh, the merry life of this - it is so much better when dada takes his leave - has his boundaries - can say, no, I’m not available right now - all these parts of me are happier when I can take the space, guiltless - even noticing over time how much good permission this gives my kids to grow - clear the entire kitchen, work out the drama without big person energy knocking them around as often our culture does.

And, and I am in awe of the way even this chosen home day on a Monday doesn’t send me into a spin - I love being with my children. Even out here on the land with the birds and the rain and my own loneliness sometimes - I call in support like a king - friends and peers from afar who hold me in this conscious life - built from the inner ground out - all startinng with a calmer, more loving of myself - and working my way slowly out from there.