What is this 5am?

This time to show myself I’m serious

I’m committed?

I’m tired and I am not cajoling anything

But I am here.

Dedicated to something

Yet, I know not what

The what is not important

It is the who that I am.

What will you do with your one, wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver asks.

What indeed?

Write, dance, sing, make love.

Yes, and grow up.

Be clear with my shadows

Be ruthless with my boy

And be gentle - this courage

to not beat up anymore

the fragile parts of me

Instead, let them open in the light

of another so they will not

continue to hurt alone in the darkness.

That is where they are dangerous

that is where they damage and run amok.

This early morning time is pure

It has a flavour of intention

Even as you are now unsure why,

Why did I get up so early?

It is because of this:

You cannot go on as you were,

You cannot stay asleep as the door ways are open

And the angels are weeping because you lay there asleep

As the whole world is asking for you.