SOC Writing _ 29th October 2020

 Overwrought Arrival

It happens closely each day. Close in to me – this arrival of everything, and the small, seeming nothing. The sense of a shard of peace – a little bit of un-thought happiness, a twist of mindfulness, the awareness of a feeling long ago hidden. These things and more are the threads of my life – some of them catching up with me and showing themselves as if for the first time – others are memories in my body from childhood – and even more – a felt sense of my own preciousness – my own not needing to be impressive – a terrible relief. Relief - of that moment of letting go, of sinking into the home of your life – the one thing you have in all its fullness, now. Spring is here and the tui flit, yes flit from tree to tree looking for sweetness, looking for love. I am astounded, yes astounded at their plans for the day, their memos filled with tasks with the worry and burdens they must carry as they complete their critical roles to keep the tui on this earth. Do they fret and worry? They do not – life in all its magic has held its force in a trillion ways to get through to this point and none of it is done with worry. I wonder - so tremendous this life – life – life – always finding ways to re-create and re-calibrate – celebrate what has been and then on to the next iteration. We humans are like a container of all – figuring out what and how – the conscious beings overwhelmed with what we are trying to take in – 7 million signals a second – we can only process 40 – or something like that. We are dumbfounded by life – and no wonder we trip and stumble the more we realise how vast this piece of matter matters to us. But, we don’t own it, never will – and best to be on our way, lifting one foot in front – knowing that if we do our part – start our journey, there will be another behind us to complete our work. We - are not alone – we do not act alone – but in this one enormous concert, cacophony of energy and work and becoming – arriving to ourselves and everything we thought we had forgot.