I want to live in a tent - like Martin - immerse myself in the walls of the wild - paper thin between me and the elements - know myself from the outside in. I want to be nothing to anyone, anything and be know in my utterness. I will live and die alone and so I make this clear to myself. By living outdoors - alone and yet full embraced by a wild world. Come to me and teach me - move from me these boulders of trauma that keep me small - keep me fearful all the time - extend to me that hand of grace that offers new possibilities and a limitless horizon of my soul’s potential. I do not want to go on like this - sitting in my sit spot miserable - when the world and cosmos is full of love - full of joy - full of wild life. And in my body it teems - if only this thinking head would quiet down and I could get down to the real business of living which is ….the life less ordinary - the life of discipline toward that one thing I am to do - the one thing so I can say no to everything else and be given. I am not done yet - my soul speaks - I am not done with you - will not abandon you even as you abandon yourself. I am here and I am life and I am by hook or by crook going to carry you to places you have not been before - we are not done yet - not at all. Take heart - courage my soul - this life is all yours for the taking - and under the sea there are pearls of great price - but you are learning to dive deeper, learning to hold your breath for longer and as you do - the whole world changes - you can go places where before you would have drowned - I am preparing you - I am leading you - there is nothing to fear - there is indeed only love - so hold on - hold on to yourself - love yourself as you love those in your life - let go of fear - it is just a figment - make time to be in the wild and soon enough a breakthrough - soon enough a new clearing - to enjoy, rest and gear up for the next thing I want to show you!