SOC Writing _ 31.5.21

God’s light

Shone upon my own night – the darkness lighting the way unto my own soul. In the woods, she led us through thicket and grove to sacred places and a bed upon trees - my delight at their delight - at the fullness felt as I was swept up in my daughter’s magic – the mystery, sacristy of the whole experience – up high in the kahikatea boughs – swaying gently above the pond. The doors entered and exited – through and through as though I knew none of the openings – yet opened up all the same – this opening I have come upon – a smile upon my face – fear and delight in my heart – a new start that will surely take hold – I am delighted and frightened –upon the pae pae where my place to stand has become my heart – the place I take with me everywhere if only I would remember this when my boy needs to be held again and again – and remember that life is like this: full of up – full of down - full of in and out – peaks and troughs – the valley and the high points evermore traversed. I am not alone any longer – my heart says I am in a field of love – and dreams - your eyes have pierced me and will continue to for an age – I do not know what to do but stay in your gaze – A new day for what has come upon me I will not throw off as I pull in the tempest that my soul is conjuring – the music I must play - the words I must sing – the things that I must create - and all fermenting and gyrating inside me – inside the forest - inside the manor – inside the native hardwood there is my soft wood – ready to be pied into shapes and purposes I know not – only – that I am re-writing the script – becoming the hollow bone – that I must be of some use - might humbly walk where I must and she has drawn me into this quickly now as the days dawn near and yet still close in and closer still to you until I will not bear to leave you – until there is nothing but the next step – only, only then will we know – and only then will the self – soul show its fullness and the heart will once again claim its own.