That pulls me in to this moment

Crafts me with a fine appreciation

for what will happen today.

I will die, I will smile

I will shake with the

momentous knowledge that love

is at work in me and no

matter how hard I try

to turn from her - she will

find me - pick me up like a pawn on this particular chessboard

plonk me back ready for

life and love to square off with me again.

If only I could stray

If only I could create exactly

the kind of life I want

then I’d be content.

But I wouldn’t - it is the flow

of the unknown

it is the yes by the tent

in the dark to walk to

an unknown woman’s room

it is the yes to still feeling

more in my body, give myself

wholly to an unknown future

that truely satisfies my longing.

I do not know what today

holds. Do not know what

January 2nd, 2023 holds

The less I hold on, the less

the rope burns my hands - the more

I can climb this granite faced

life - leaning back looking for

purchase, not safety.