SOC Writing _ 7.5.21

Deeper

In still. The pool of great price has been come upon – I stand in my reflection looking at the creature I am – unafraid of the depths but my heart quakes – what is this? What are you? I want to figure this out – don’t want to figure it out – will there be an end to this madness or will I open a direct port to the core and be undone from the inside – let go – let her in – let love in – don’t think – keep off line mind – just animal and base - well – think for sure but be sure that everything awaits you whether you can image it or not – step into the void - the noise of the rain has come again – water over rocks and your face beaming at me – I normally do not stay here – want to be in control and safe – fuck safety – fuck the normal path – be broken – be dangerous – go with her – her instinct and see what pain and joy you can find – there is willingness to be – to not use the trodden path - to be experimental with your heart and base and mind – let the river flow – let her in deeper so that you not longer have control - there is a magic here that you long for – have not ever let in – say yes – say yes and be glad for your heart is able to bear it to embrace it – be to alive and not longing - just alive – like the drop falling into the river – becoming one in what seems like mystical fantasy – ecstasy – the world opening up even as it swallows you – the kitten will tear the couch – will knock over the plants – it is in its nature - you cannot contain the beast, do not plan its day – do not have a say in these matters -  matters not what – matters in the surrender - able to be undone in front of her – naked and completely surrendered – I want to fuck in nature, be a swallow in the river – see the willow around my braided hair – look at you sun dragon in my mind’s eye – die and the completeness – closes in – evermore this boy belongs here as too does the man.