SOC Writing _ 29.9.21

Blue tears grey sky

This morning was cold. Sub 3 degrees and the water was similar. I could see the southern alps red with the morning glow – red sky in the morning, shepherds warning – I could see the half moon, and it jolted my sides like I suddenly felt you – as I have not seen or felt you for days - like you really have gone – nowhere - anywhere – where? What am I now? In this hollow - man, but lacking my one, my only, you. I darn’t get sentimental about this - because it’s new – this feeling of connectedness – yet lost ness - free form floating in a sea – like in a daze about these days. I love you. From here – from this little stone and flesh temple of me – I love you - sending Morse code trusting you can decipher my figments of care. I caress you in the shower – cold feet – struggling for shared hot water – stay in this – in your eyes – Oh, what I’d give for your eyes – a black bird has pulled up a worm and I pull up a prayer for you from the ground of my being – an honest prayer – made of hummus and life – of millions of years in the making – of the cosmic love force of the universe itself – here it is – take it, eat it – and each time you do: remember me - remember me. I am not lost, the forest knows where I am. Soon I will call Tyler – the smiler – he will listen – I will drink cacao – the bag you left with me – thank god for cacao – but I can’t make it like you do – all slutty and delicious – this will be pure and harsh – well, you know what I mean. And then podcast - casting off all my big ideas of what success looks like to just be, listen, and ask audacious questions as they come to mind – or as they say in Open Floor – follow, follow, follow. As you enter today – bow for me please – I will to you – like the Japanese – so deferent – still in ritual – always a dance – make it special – because we are special – you – your sunset orange garb and the delightful pink radiating off your skin - so much love.