SOC Writing _ 26.8.21

 The distant nowhere

Land, landed in a nowhere place – no faces – just the radio – sounding brilliant – two verbs strung together like the Irish talk – I can’t recall – but it’s endearing, I say that work a lot – is it a placeholder for something more crass? Likely, but I don’t want to be crass - want to find the middling way of saying what I mean without being mean - meanness is for children – ages 7-11 – before the teen years – before everything in the grey matter changes and things have become more adult anyway – not mean. What I mean to say is I like you – you can stay – and there are my conditions – my ways of being me – the things you’d expect I just live out like any normal person – not normal and so I take my time to run - to be outdoors in the air – catching pine needles in my nostrils – feeling like a bird in freedom – realizing that my feelings are ancient and not always serving me. She noticed the fear in my knees – I always wondered about my knees - hugged against my chest on the school bus so that my balls hung out either sides of my shitily too short shorts - anyway, this is a beautiful day – a day to bring joy – loving kindness – a day to cook for children and you – a day to write and read. Who would have ever thought that is not a valuable use of one’s time? I would. And more often than not if I can just let go the anxious story – hone in on the wider view - I amaze myself at this life – the people in it and how we each do our best any given day – but do not have to be our best all of a sudden – gentle now – and kinder still – you are still Kaia kindness as we all are – a kindness waiting around a corner to be snuffed out – the dairy owners always, always kind – too kind for us entitled folk – bless them, bless me, bless you my love entering a new stage of life – astrological readings aside – you have a lunar transit in the making – the seed of the universe growing inside you.