Long ago, I watched my father and his mother in law’s love build a woodshed and a green house. They laboured till late in summer to see it solid and right. I could live in such a structure. I think there must be something enormously satisfying to live in a dwelling made with my own hands - and there is still percolating in me a longing to be on the land with children, with partner - making something from soil, being affected by the seasons and every little aspect that would otherwise escape me if I were not there - doing good work - building a house for you. You have said in defence that you want not for a house from me but freedom. I still want to build and maybe you can join us if the feeling is right - if the calling and season align. Nonetheless - I feel a sadness that I am now back in suburbia when I would be by that river, cooking with gas - using fire, letting my children explore to their hearts content - really settle into a place for awhile because it suits their nature - this life calls forth the most essential in their nature and they can be unencumbered from the world of science, adults and the media gravy train - be at one and at once alive and free to be. From this standpoint there is much that merits a return to a life where you make a relationship with all that is around you (You can tell I’ve been reading Berry) - the path you subconsciously take each time once you have first explored it - the way the birds settle for the night - the turkey night roost where you can find the best feathers - and the bubbling of the river over rocks and it’s deep, sleepy silence in the hollows. Though I have lonely boyhood memories of land - the soul I have is asking for more time with this old teacher - because the words of any person fall dead in comparison to the aliveness of any natural setting - despite how wounded it has become by man’s meddling - the wounded with the wounded - there is salve here. And as my heart turns itself in my chest this cicada filled morning I am reminded that I am not alone - never will be and my hands reach down, bless this earth, say the prayer of thanks.