Leading lights

SOC Writing _ 15.3.21

 Leading lights

There the are looking down on you – these leading lights. Far more satellites than when I was a boy starring up from my trampoline - but there you have them still lighting a way through the tempestuous waters, across lands so as to connect with that further frontier of your life – so you can go on – not as you meant to – but as they guide you. This isn’t a game where you really have much say – this is about the ability to be led. Sometimes to places you’d rather not go – but in older age – the hand is more willing as it exhausts the paltry plays it has left. No longer a bing bong tommy – no longer so smart and quick, you are now being made aware of a much greater force that gathers you up and draws you on – not push – not pull – but effortlessly like a tide taking you back to the deep – back to feed upon the nutrients you really need. All the while you are buoyed up by this mysterious force – love – energy – the stars. You have not mind to compute this – leave nothing at the edge where you jumped off. In you dreams you play out leaving in real stark language – the church, the judgments you didn’t actually face but the leaving is made clear all the same and you are now choosing it clearly in the unconscious world. I am proud of you – feel you – see you, as you are emerging – into a great time of discovery – a fullness arising – a ripening – a quickening – like everything becomes a clear yes or no – and in the yes an intensity perfectly matched to your own. The closer you go to home – the more familiar the territory of you – that which was left behind walls – an old land now gently trod upon. Wonder of wonders - the calf has been slaughtered and the father of yours meets you, tears in eye, ring in hand, willing you to stay so he can enjoy everything you have become.