Tonight I fly to Christchurch to celebrate the life of one friend who sheer brims with creative expression. We will mosh in a small pit in Lyttleton and find our wild men in the most unusual setting - a vegan metal band.

I was on the fence about flying away then when I booked tickets and I still feel my reluctance to leave this place, springing into a new season as it is - the seedlings will need a water and I will be wondering in the back of my mind, why I decided to go - the learning here is: I’ve changed - I’m no longer needing to get away to anywhere - to escape myself to another place - I am not leaving even as I drive and fly south.

I am not leaving, but only beginning here - only beginning on this land, this place has aeons of life for me and others.

My son’s birthday comes up and I want to take him to the bush, just us - part of me is nervous that he might not want to, part of me wants to be his man, and just sit around a fire, toasting marsh mellows and marvel at his sweet 13th year of life. By golly how much has happened - from the boy who didn’t crawl - but walked and talked when he was one - to this tall, lanky fine featured beauty. You are a delight to the world son, and here on this land where we are always returning, I celebrate you.