SOC Writing _ 14.6.21

User

Uses and abuses – lets loose his fingers over the keyboard – takes what isn’t mine and minds that this mind doesn’t even see this – see the full taking – the raping and pillaging of those he sees fit – to take – to feel guilt but take on anyway – these old ways, colonial ways of using people for ends, of manipulating others to do your bidding – there is a wisdom to hearing this now – the racist underpinnings of our country comes back to this: white instinct of the taker – taking what is not yours - the land, the people – being helped – then abusing the helper – like cape kidnappers – taking back their own helper – slave – we do this without thinking – call it another thing than it is – make it alright by might – by conquest – I do this – the rapist in me calls that hurt by a different name – turns it into something positive – something good – entrepreneur – the taker in sheep’s clothing – came to these shores not looking to explore – but to conquer – to dominate – to assimilate everything that was not yours. Is there a spirit in one that knows no no’s!? Knows no boundaries as her smoke mouth utters the words - as I explain neatly that I have white guilt – in actual fact – you fuck – and fuck up this sacred place where I begin and end and then there is the other having their experience – let them have their experience – it is not all about you! Fucking Jesus – the pill is hard to swallow – but for this day and the morrow I will suck it – feel its salty flavour – let it turn my insides and hope that she bleeds – the utter dismay at what is true in me – told by she as even I do not want to turn my head and yet again change my ways so that evil might no prevail again through my hands and skin – gently opening up my truth without judgement – that I am everything – the truth is living in me – all of it – that which I love and that which Id’ rather not see.