I tried sitting elsewhere yesterday to write - it didn’t feel right - was not hemmed in the same way - the cloister of my prayers this space is - set and setting that allows me to ponder this and that - to be at right relationship with everything in my world.

It is the school holidays and I must say that at present I enjoy the presence of my twelve, ten and six year old. Their personalities are beautiful. My eldest has replaced his left hand with a dough hook and will remain intentionally disabled for most the day I suspect. The ability to terrorise his younger brother with the pirate frights. My daughter serenaded us all morning with the blue ukulele - a hang over from her two terms as a home school kid. And my darling baby has found great joy in drawing faces all over the latest organics magazine - I told them - an upgrade on the less interesting published version. So this day greets me and whatever comes next, I am grateful of this life of children, coaching, land and a bit of business.

The sun is out - the dreams - dark they were - are evaporating into this side of the cosmic consciousness - I will make some adjustments in my room today - get the writing desk of my old lover into my daughter’s room - and just feel my way though the continued letting go - that sparse landscape of loss and eventual disappearance to which my romantic soul aches as I say it.