A game of two halves they used to say. All Blacks speak - rugby culture - the culture that did not appeal to me - did not speak my language. But truely we are in the second half - And I am in my second half of life. Longing is greater - purpose shining clearer - and over this hill and around the corner is transformation becoming itself. Just like every day - we turn up to ourselves and haven’t the foggiest idea who we really are. Who are you, really? Beyond the name, parents, place of birth? Beyond the roles, job, career - beyond your feelings - versions of which you’ve played with since a child - you are more than who you think you are. And thats not all. On the other side of forgetting is a depth that descends into black - into you - that cannot be fathomed - that is, you cannot measure how deep you really are. And yet, most of the time there you are bobbing on the surface. I swim around the 5 knot buoy and this time I am not afraid of the deep - but I still do not want to dive down into it - I am not afraid of what I will find in it so much as I am afraid of holding, being unable to hold the vast expanse that I am - that you are. This is why I stay on the surface. But life will pull us down - will make a beautiful meal of us - if we only stay on our course and pay attention. What are you paying attention to today? The long sigh from my chest echos a familiar yet uncomfortable inability to sit with my gut - the feeling that I’d rather gloss over. Stopping, bringing gentle attention to this will open up more space and freedom. Freedom is a currency to a rich life - inside and outside. We talk of money and wealth - we argue our own scarcity around the mighty dollar - and come gently back to centre - to the fact that we might have to come to the uncomfortable many times - like tending a wound - unwrapping, cleaning, re-dressing and gently getting on with the life we are both called to. I love you fearlessly - I love you endlessly. I love you. I love you. I love you.