Jesus takes a fish

Hooked my life on the cross - this old Japanese cedar panelled life that has six points at which the sun can alight on. I was once in a monastery in the desert - stepped over a dead snake - cried tears into the river - thought the brothers would rape me. Such a curious time when tearing through road runner country to Eddie Vedder and feeling - so alone and alive - comes to this point of starting again - always beginning - even if resisting - like Rilke said - just begin at this very second. “I have already thus begun a thousand lives.” Do you balk at your own life - when it taake you in a new direction? -Realize that you can resist and say yes con-currently - the river holds you - let go - sail down her core - noticing how the trees and sky - the bigger things that don’t change as much - that hold you as you change and grow - let go - grow. I haven’t heard from you this morning and my dreams were of other women - but you are still here - biding your time in the dream scape that we all hold hands in - this togetherness escapes me in the day light - my therapist said I know how to do the minority thing - a life of christian schooling and being an outcast - the real invitation now is to be a joiner - how do I come out and shine with all of you - not go into my small cave with the red and blue colours - the the cross on the building - and all the people with their echo chambers - I’m bigger than I thought I was - the whole world is me - and I can’t’ find any of it because I am it and do not recognise myself for the forest king that I am. This day - if you worry, if you fear - begin with that - step through the one doorway made for you - freewheeling with a smile on your face - make a dance of it - this life is waiting happily just for you to say yes and turn up - and I do now, joyfully, as fully as I can.