Keep me in the dark

SOC Writing _ 10.4.21

Keep me in the dark

It’s where it all began. A dark place – where you don’t know yourself – you pull me into this place of nowhere and now I am lost. Dying to nestle into your warm nubile body – dying on the inside to be in full union with you – a complete dis-satisfaction with how I am being met – Met – the boy the lover, the mother, the surrogate for father – I want more – more of you – am entitlement – am wishing, longing, not speaking my desire and in that I pant and I growl. The sounds of the dogs tearing up my ears – the ravaging, the complete eating flesh of the other – the horrid affair of watching combat descend into a carnivorous feast – dismembered member – limp partial body carried away like waste – like a food source for later communing. I am not your feast – I am your beast – you know this – and yet won’t drop in because you are too full – cannot have the feast because you are eaten up by far too many men. I will not stand aside and be taken chunks out of – I am a full meal and must be treated as such – a full degustation that requires days to digest. A complete replete fullness you must abide in me – you must take extra long time in me so that everything arises that possibly can – and in that moment a full and complete surrender – a longing met and abated – the river dam – flowing at last – the beavers have left their homes and let the flood waters rise and burst, rise and burst – I burst forward out of this jamming of my heart – lurching forward to begin my race – the race of my life – my gentle running’s – the marathon adventure legend - over peaks and across continents – lover, lust wanderlust in the peasants clothes clutching a ruck sack and my balls brimming with the joy that is mine and you can never take away.