Swimming Orbs

SOC Writing _ 8.3.21

 Swimming Orbs

Round and round they went, not noticing me - closer in, closer in, still not noticing me. Nothing noticing me. But in a clear and cold water there is no need to be noticed, to come out clear and clean – my eyes wet because I am soaked in this – this life – clearer than ever - than I’ve ever been. That is my quest, to be clear and clean – unplugged from the much around me – unmasked from the truth – something to set me free - knowing what I’ve always known for the first time – streaming through me – a consciousness of radiance – a sun setting quality is upon my days – a haze of old time and different light - diffuse and dark. In the park the children mesmerise me with their movements - colours and shapes and babies moving on the floor toward me and my daughter - she knows what she is for – knows that motherhood is part of her – plays this part out through dolls and definite care – is carrying in her something of her mother and me and all the mothers and me’s from way ago. This is all happening and I hardly noticed – their becoming of all things under my nose - knows what it knows - is clear on what is doing - what is emerging from – nothing – nothingness is a place I get to – a place I live from – place I now feel in me – a place to set out from – a place to retreat to – the nothing - no thing – cloud of un know ing ness. The rest is palpable - I sit upon the windowsill and watch the sky – watch for birds, watch for dawn - anything - nothing – again it is all coming together like a star flung universe – birthed in all quadrants like a prism – like a glass shot through with light seen and unseen - the darkness mingling with the light and someone left this light on all through the night so I could find home after the shaking – after I saw you for the first time.