The left hand has it’s own desires - the way the synapses fire and I am left with half my head - half the thinking and conjecturing. If I could cut my mind - my amygdala from myself - sometimes I would. The way I think and think and over think - to be less reliant on this part of me and more in tune with my gut, my sex, my heart - my body - the wisdom of the body is what I keep telling others, but how did I live from her? The deep goddess energy that wants to come from earth - through me - in all the feelings - in all the eruptions that are molten heat - lava - full of good shit but so much travail to upload. This mind of metaverse where everything is for sale is deadening - the whole thing stinks and I am part of it - but my bigger part - the most of my iceberg is hidden safely below the water in places that no one can disturb. She is there buoying me up - holding me alight to the sun - to the waves, to the seals, and then - moving me quietly north to the cooler parts. I miss my love and, I miss my own love - the parts of me that need to be caressed, consoled are now out in the open - in the elements - crying for love - for my devotion - and they shall be healed, they shall be nurtured by me - by my own devotion to myself. Because only from there can a different energy emerge - one not reliant on the other - the outside of me. That has been my path - to reach deeply into my experience and validate it - but even more - to plumb it - know it - love me for all I am. Now and again I come across such beauty - the setting sun, the rising sun - the eyes of my five year old. In these timeless places I rest - my Kairon moon not at work for the briefest time and then - I settle back into the medicine journey. She is not finished with me yet.