I’m sitting by the fire - outside - the one we built last night is well and alive - heavy, dense wood we burnt - to hold all the stories men tell when the women folk are not around - lay to rest our old lives - get really honest about our past and how that has shaped us now.

I am alone again this weekend on the land. I’m ok. I’ll go for a deeper walk in the forest today - past the water spring where our tanks are fed - up to the ridge to see if I can spot snow on the back hills. There is a settling happening in me here. Really content and happy to be on this land, in this sanctuary. I am that for my clients who have not quiet - not bush, no beauty like this.

Find my anchor - drop it down deep - there is something stirring in the sleep that makes the water begin to flow. Take me away fair night - let me go to black and I will arise phoenix-like in a new form - hardly know myself when this travail has passed. So onward to 45 - these years filling up the gaps in me so that I can stay still for the wonder unfolding in me, unfolding in thee.