Land

Land calls from deep to deep - one heart and the waterfall of all our shared humanity is pouring forth as we try helpless to staunch the bleeding. It is over. The rush to fix the unfixable is at it end - and in its place a new power has come up like the silent buds on my fig tree. Alone and lonely this place pulls up the richness of the ground effortlessly because it is in good relationship with the dark, dank matter feeding it deep below. We cannot make a path through the shit on the surface - it has to fester, become a fly ridden, maggoty, crawling mess before it can be cleaned and the sun once again shine on its surface - dry out the wound and let it be - in all its manifest ugliness - we are ugly - underneath the pretty pretensions - we are all dying to just be our broken selves and along the way we fall into pits of dark that pulled us in and mothered us - in the places our own mothers looked away from - the sexual, sinful places - the awfully heavy feelings that were not allowed - were drowned out by the t.v. set. Now, nothing remains standing that cannot stand in the face of the tearing, destroying love that is here to save us - was here in the beginning - hovering over the face of the water - over the void. And logos came and said: let there be light and there was light - and now the logos hovers of our plastic ridden waters and says: let there be dark - and there was dark - and the dark and the light are one and the same just like the unbearable tension in my stomach this morning is only a part of my other many voices. I am strong and transitioning - I am able to hold what I could not hold before - am able to stay with my unfolding while you look on with loving eyes. In my own process there is an alchemical bonding of what I have always pushed to the other - the unbearable heaviness that now can be itself in my body - can light the way to the path, to a new country, to a new people that in the past would have been impossible. I will keep turning up to the only thing I know - to pen these words - say these subterranean prayers - and place my whole being on the altar of a cross - a life that bears itself naked and unashamed for the purpose of a new life coming through.