Stout & Quivering
SOC Writing_ 4 August 2020
Stout & Quivering
The reed teeters in place, but never breaks – it’s perfectly designed payload a tribute to things greater than itself. I in the eye – in my eye of becoming, me. All along I have stepped in and out of fear and becoming. A growth one day, a retreat the other - all belongs, all is part of the timeless ebb and flow of water, of pull and push, tide and sand – rocks ground to earth, to bloom and flower – it has to be this way. Steadfast as he is, not your path. He gives his gift as an unmovable feast – replete on his farm chair with a kind of agape you have received, and wince as he dolls it out to others – his rock of ages betrothal – is not your making – not yours to be king of land and the cattle on a thousand hills – you’re going elsewhere – you always want to, and you’ve always meant to. In this dark night you appreciate he and all he has done for you young child. But away over air and water you must travel – to the thickets of thickness – the part – through the Moses bulrushes – the hard to get places he wasn’t made, born for – yes your path lies, elsewhere. Do not be confused, do not think another’s heroics are yours to copy or fall back on. Each disciple made his choice and we demonise the most honest and desirous of them. We all have the perfect amount of Judas in us – seeing opportunity, feeling differently to the masses that the messiah was out of line – beyond his grasp. Do as he does and die – I choose myself and what I know of the world. Paint me as a pagan, I do not mind – mine’s the cavalax mind to be broken into gold and all the other treasure - mine’s to go beyond the surface strictures of belonging and unravel the good, the bad and the ugly and live this fact. There really is no going back despite the pull of the old songs in dreams. Yes, the anger will subside and even become a purchase hold for you to arch your back and take that higher position upon the seven story mountain of your own becoming. Looking back made for comfort in the long dead of a full moon. Let it be your aid as you use updraft of angels wings to again lift your feet to walk, scale the particular obstacle and calling that was fully, completely, made for you.