Warrior of Myself

Warrior of Myself

Come again? Did you really say that to me? Go on say it again! I will confront you - hold you to my boundary line. There is a place inside me and around me that you cannot cross. You will know when you do and it won’t be pretty. For there I reside, my kingdom, my castle – you cannot blithely wander in and do your shit. The time is long past where adults regularly broke my tethering shield to the point where I didn’t know whether I was being invaded or abandoned. No, my kingdom is full of me and, unfortunately lots of you mother. Long gone lives of our adjustments; of when I and thou, you and me, us and them became one thing. The thing itself was forged in these early years. Now, here, years later I still field unwelcome visitors – still balk at drawing that chalk line between me and you. Seems so cold, so humanly wrong to do this – but why then am I often so angry? So angry. You have broken my boundary, broken my boundary. Line upon line was lined up at the edge of my field and not used for its proper purpose. Now I am restoring the ancient markers – rebuilding the walls that were broken down – and not all at once. There are still parts of my wall that crumble and you can find your way in there – much to my surprise and fury. Fuck off! Fuck out – do not press upon that brokenness. And yet, from the unbound site I emerge stronger still – these deep resentments and confusing misalignments are my teachers leading me back to myself. When I catch my face in a mirror and part of me says – hi, honey, you’re doing fine – take a breather – it’s all going to be ok. Who said that?! It was I – you inner sovereign here to rise with you in the throne room of your life. Here to be your inner guide on the resplendent journey ahead.