What happens after this?

SOC Writing _ 6.8.21

What happens after this?

What happens when I lay down and the disciples of Jesus have all gone off in fear and I’m left alone by myself in the garden on the unknown? Have I had enough sex to get me through? Is my body sufficiently resilient to bear - to weather life? Gosh yes, and more – and the more you exposes yourself – the more you will be enabled to move beyond the place you were before into your own promised land. The land fertile and green – the dirt brown, red and full of blood - spilled from a thousand wombs – don’t you know blood when you see it – died upon plates laid out in procession in your home – upon body and members – red and sticky, smells of earth, iron and body. I am transfixed on your being transfixed. Blood state – my slate clear for now - for this unfolding of the moon under the human gaze. All of the things I wanted come to pass in my dreams and I barely remember them. Someone once said that everything you want has always been here. It be under our noses that we miss - when we lose the pen perched on the ear – when we find the slipper under the bed – when the cock crows and we remember how we betrayed our self 3 times – 3 times too many and need to forgive and return to what really is asking to be made part of you – be really seen – come out of the shadows and bask in the glorious light of this sun – this universe – their thoughts are now none of you business - so let you shadow get really close to the light – crisp, clean, new – able to be closely seen as yours – not some distant figment in a horror show - just you – that’s all – nothing scary about proximate darkness - it is what we will not look at – refuse to name as our own that really hurts us and those we love. So, here on this ground, ask forgiveness - (mostly to yourself) start again and let the ground swallow up your blood in thankfulness, revelry and a vast under taking of making all things ever new.