Been running for so long

When I met you, I could’t let you in - but I did - too much. Well, its no quite like that. I gave you parts of me that were only mine to have - and so I’ve taken my heart back so I can love you from being whole. A whole heart works better than pieces. The little bits get lonely, lost and confused - the whole senses in holographic resonance - and that is why you will feel me less given but more resonant - more in touch with myself and thus more able to love wholly. The wholeness is where I want to be. Sitting by the river Ōhau - looking at the Kawakawa - wondering how this heavy earth got to be being here - wondering how this specific place will ask things of me - show me things because I attend to it specifically - as the place I keep returning to. You are always travelling. Maybe that is you. I am landed in a place and seek to know it deeply. I may not be a Shaw on the river Dart to be sure - but I am feeling that this place has a lot to give and receive. Well you join me in one place? Will you let yourself sink into this one piece of dirt? Will you stay awhile? Enough that your feet can get mossy and you know each bird call and cry - can feel the weather changing in your bones - know when the seasons turn by looking to the four directions? My dream said that the truth will not flower until you get here - until we meet again. Oh, I look forward to our meeting, and I quietly shudder at what I do not know - perhaps do not want to know. But there is love here - something mysterious to navigate - just like this ordinary moment writing this with my pot of tea waiting patiently on the bench behind.